Toadcast #110 - The Pervcast

You know, I'm not exactly naive when it comes to the internet.  I've done perfectly innocent Google image searches at work and then hurriedly had to cover up or stove in my monitor as all manner of filth made its appearance, irrespective of the tame nature of the search terms.

So I was up quite late recording this podcast and because only pervs and loonies seem to be up late* using the internet I reckoned that this should be called the Pervcast.  Particularly as I recorded most of it with a glass of wine in one hand and my nuts in the other - hey, it's just comfortable alright, stop being so judgmental.

Anyhow, the minute I hit return on the search for a banner image for this Toadcast... well, I realised my mistake pretty much immediately.  I didn't even realise most of that shit was even physically possible, never mind sought after.  Yeauch.  You internet people - you're all wrong 'uns, that's what you are!

Toadcast #110 - The Pervcast

01. The Silver Columns - Brow Beaten (04.50)
02. The Morning Benders - Promises (14.10)
03. Inspector Tapehead - Phenrenzik Tear (17.10)
04. Amanaz - Khala My Friend (28.15)
05. The Tim & Sam Band - Choices (34.57)
06. Japandroids - Art Czars (48.24)
07. Waskerley Way - Yonder (52.19)
08. Fire Engines - Get Up and Use Me (56.32)
09. Patrick Bower & the World Without Magic - One Day Soon, I Will Break You (58.37)
10. Woozy Viper - Whoah, Baby! (66.12)

*Yes, I know, it was made up for (faintly) comical purposes - fuck off.

Direct download: ToadcastNo110.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 4:22pm UTC

Toadcast #109 - The Suitcast

I don't know what the damn hell it is about dressing formally which makes me feel so uncomfortable, but it does.  Presumably just because I'm such a scruffy fucker for the entire rest of my life, those few hours every year I spend in a (vaguely) ironed shirt and pair of proper shoes just seem so completely out of character as to be really quite discomfiting.

Still, at our age everyone we know seems to be either getting married or breeding (and not infrequently both) so the old whistle is going to have to get used to seeing a little bit more action over the next few years, it seems.  The ludicrous thing is that I actually have a couple of really nice suits, but I never get round to wearing the fuckers because it just all seems too much like hard work.

This weekend, people.  In a suit.  Me!  Would you believe it.  I really should thank all these marrying bastards for saving my investment in suits from being complete waste of money it would be if I actually was left to my own devices.

Toadcast #109 - The Suitcast

01. Joker's Daughter - The Bouncing Liquorice (02.22)
02. Lloyd Cole - Undressed (05.52)
03. The Besnard Lakes - Like the Ocean, Like the Innocent Pt.1: The Innocent (11.53)
04. Shearwater - God Made Me (18.52)
05. King Post Kitsch - Alaska (24.52)
06. Cold Lake Flight School - Driftwood (30.16)
07. Dan Sartain - Ruby Carol (32.52)
08. The Japanese War Effort - Lanark (38.01)
09. Oreaganomics - Self-assembled Martyr (45.35)
10. The Stands - Some Weekend Night (53.45)

Direct download: ToadcastNo109.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 3:00pm UTC

Toadcast #108 - The Boabycast

Hooray for us - possibly the vilest and least romantic Valentine's Day Podcast yet!  And before anyone whinges about that picture, go to fucking Wikipedia and complain, because that's where we bloody got it from.  I know!  Scandalous!  Someone should complain.

So erm, yes.  I don't think we left anyone unoffended this year.  I sincerely hope not because I don't like to think of people out there nurturing an anticipated false outrage complex only to be let down.

We do not like romance, we do not like being told when to have fun by people who are simply hoping to exploit our disposable income, we do not like it being implied that being single is some sort of failure, we do not like people measuring their self-worth by how much their partner can be emotionally blackmailed into spending on them, we do not like having to live up to commercially defined standards to demonstrate that we love one another, we do not like having to skip the football just cos we're supposed to behave one some particular day or other, we do not like fucking teddy bears or fucking chocolates, we do not like sitting in tumbleweed-infested restaurants whilst people glance nervously around them wondering if they've done it right, and we do not like having a list of things to live up to before our relationship is considered functional thank you very fucking much.

We do like lazy Saturdays in the garden, crackling fires, meals with friends, new places, fresh flowers when we feel like it and walks on Porty beach that just happen.  Listening to vinyl so loud the floor shakes, a bit too much to drink with people that you really like, laughing at films, arguing about the side of the bed, swearing blind it's not your turn with the chores when you know damn well it is, drinking coffee in the garden when it's sunny, slagging off almost everyone, shouting at reactionaries on TV, emailing stuff that interests us, insulting the cat (he is an inbred retard, I like to think he's a member of the Royal Family), surprise cups of tea, buying shit on the internet when we're drunk, coping with the washing mountain when it threatens to start a SARs epidemic, watering the plants only minutes before death and walking hand in hand through the park and peering at cool old dudes chuntering around at the allotments or sailing model boats in the park pond.

Now, isn't that a better basis for a relationship than trotting out a box of chocolates 1/365?

Toadcast #108 - The Boabycast

01. Cracker - Mr. Wrong (03.10) 02. Billy Bragg & Wilco - Way Over Yonder in the Minor Key (09.57) 03. The Smiths - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (17.11) 04. Eels - Love of the Loveless (20.16) 05. The Clash - Brand New Cadillac (29.40) 06. Bill Hicks - Pussywhipped Satan (31.41) 07. Evan Dando - Hard Drive (44.33) 08. The Coathangers - Nestle in My Boobies (48.11) 09. Virgin of the Birds - She's in the Moon Again (59.10) 10. David Cross - Your Baby is FUCKING BORING! (65.59)

Direct download: ToadcastNo108.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 6:24pm UTC

Toadcast #107 - The Tardicast

Erm, really sorry that this is so very, very late, but life rather caught up with me this week.  So I never quite managed to find time to get my shit together until this evening, unfortunately.

It's surprising how much of my time these weekly podcasts seem to take up - it can be quite hard to find an evening every single week to record these things.  What I find amazing is that I don't run out of blather.  I don't recall ever saying anything profound or all that intelligent either, so this little collection must represent hours and hours of inconsequential rambling.

On Friday a nice young lady in the pub asked me "Has anyone ever told you that you talk loads and loads."  I suppose, looking back at a hundred and some podcasts the miracle is that actually the answer to that question is 'no, not really, not that I can remember'.

Oh, and yes, that is Tina Turner and Kim Carnes you see there.  Suck it up, hipsters.

Toadcast #107 - The Tardicast

01. The Walkmen - This Job is Killing Me (03.30)
02. Grandaddy - Hey Cowboy, the Phone's For You (09.57)
03. Comaneci - Satisfied Girl (15.51)
04. Tina Turner - Private Dancer (17.50)
05. Trevor Moss & Hannah Lou - England (27.33)
06. Ruth Theodore - False Alarm (34.09)
07. The Waterboys - Sweet Thing (40.54)
08. Kim Carnes - Bette Davis Eyes (48.04)
09. R.E.M. - Half a World Away (53.55)
10. Radiohead - Creep (Acoustic) (59.59)

Direct download: ToadcastNo107.mp3
Category:podcasts -- posted at: 1:00am UTC



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